Originally this was a three part blog series regarding my newest D&D Character, that I’ve brought here, because I want it here as well. I have been enjoying playing D&D 5e and every so often will update something that happens during a session or if I need to create a new backstory for a character, due to me making choices that lead to the demise of the previous one.
This is my current D&D 5e character in a campaign that I’ve been playing in since November 2023. I’ve gone through 5-6 characters, from poor decisions that I’ve made during the sessions. It is a learning experience pitting your character against diabolical opponents and the DM putting them into situations that require exploring moral dilemmas and how your character, not you would react to certain situations. In other words, I have learned a bit about myself as well as enjoying the camaraderie of others going through the same situations. All in all its been a great experience as the table ranges in age and experience at RPGs, along with our personal backgrounds.
This character was created with the premise that he would do what is necessary to survive and that dying the honorable death route, that many of my other characters have chosen, is not his goal. He is out to survive at all costs and will do what is necessary to live and fight another day if there is any way possible. He is taking the Hero’s Journey and begins life as an orphan (as many fantasy stories do), is taken in by an organization when he shows certain talents, takes a peek behind the curtain that the organization hides behind, is betrayed, imprisoned, set free by a powerful patron, and is now embarking on his journey for redemption.
I think that I took a lot more time creating this character’s backstory and is a good story-starter for one of the many books that I’ll never write. If you do take the time to read it, it is quite long, so be prepared to sit for a bit. Looking back at it, the writing is a bit crude in places, but it is my writing not that of an AI, and I’m not a professional writer by any stretch of the imagination.
Cain Lokris – Looking Back to Look Ahead
Sometimes you have to look back to see where you’ve been in order to find the path forward. Today was my first taste of freedom in over ten years. It was a day to remember and one that I owe to Finvarra and his family who greeted me almost as one of their own. I am settling into the room I’ve been given while I recuperate from the travails of my imprisonment. Conveniently, a blank journal was left on the desk in the room and I plan to use it to sort out the many thoughts I have bouncing around within my head tonight. Though how long I’ll be able to remain awake to write this long chapter in my life, remains to be seen.
Looking Back
The endless expanse of the Astral Sea… it used to be a lullaby, a constant hum in the back of my mind. Now, it has become a reminder of a past I can’t grasp, a burning ember of curiosity that flickers just out of reach. A part of me that has been lost, likely never to be found again.
Master Jinora claimed the Jedi found me clinging to a shard of crystal, a fragment of a colossal vessel they called a “planeship” that had been turned into my lifeboat. Apparently, someone wanted me to live, and my entrance into the Temple’s grounds wasn’t exactly a graceful arrival and caused quite the commotion, when it crash landed on the parade grounds. I walked away from that shard intact, though the shard was destroyed and supposedly disposed of. I was three or four when I arrived at the Temple, with the barest fragments of any memories of my life before then.
Though with the events of the last ten years, I am rather skeptical of any of the things that I have been told about my past by the Jedi. According to what I’ve been told by the local Council members where I crash landed, there was an investigation into how I ended up at their Temple, but to this day I don’t believe that anyone has truly told me the full result of that investigation. In all likelihood I’ve been told a tiny portion, but much has been withheld.
After my arrival and completion of the investigation, I was tested for any connection to the Force. It was then they learned that I had some skill with the Force and determined that I should remain at the Temple until either my family claimed me or I advanced deeper into Jedi mysteries.
Training as a Jedi
No one claimed me, so when I was old enough, I began my training at the Temple as a Youngling Jedi Guardian and eventually advanced to Padawan…so my childhood was challenging to say the least. Not having parents, just Jedi monks and their servants to raise me.
While I could connect to the Force, as I grew older it seemed easier for me to connect to the Weave, and I tended to use spells as much or more than I did the powers of the Force which made me different from the other Younglings and made many Masters hesitant to train me as a Padawan after I came of age.
However, when I look back to the first time I saw Master Jinora’s Sunsword ignite as a Youngling, seeing that golden blade humming with life, all those years ago, even now I get shivers just thinking of it. It sparked a long-buried memory of seeing one being used in combat to defend me. I later learned that the Sunsword was only given to Jedi who had done some great service to the Order. I knew even then that using one someday was to be my calling.
Master Jinora was an elderly Jedi who was ready to retire from active service. Despite my efforts to get him to say yes, when I would ask him to take me on as his Padawan, he kept telling me that he was too old to take on a new Padawan at this point in his life. Looking back, I believe that I wanted to train as his Padawan more because he was the only Master who carried a Sunsword at our Temple. Then once it became apparent that the other Masters were also refusing to take me as their Padawan, he became my only hope.
At the age of fifteen, I was told that if I didn’t find a Master to take me as their Padawan, then I would be sent to one of the Magic Academies and not allowed to become a Jedi. What a crushing blow to me at that point in my life. It was as if they all knew something about me that I did not know myself. Thankfully, at the very last moment, Master Jinori reluctantly came forward to train me.
Again looking back perhaps it would have been better if I had been tasked to go to one of the magic academies. Fate had other plans for me though.
For the next three years I trained as a Jedi Guardian under Master Jinora’s guidance. I learned a great deal, but I still was more reliant upon my spell mastery than my connection to the Force. Then at last my Master let me in on his secret, he did much the same thing and after that he focused on teaching me the methods of an Eldritch Knight. He showed me that he used magic items to enhance what other believed to be his Jedi abilities and we figured out how to mirror minor Jedi Force powers with my spells that would be enough to keep me a Jedi.
However, on our journey’s beyond the confines of the Temple, Master Jinora began to train me more with his Sunsword than the Lightsaber, saying I attuned to it more easily. It wasn’t just the elegance of the weapon, but the connection it seemed to foster within me to the Force AND the Weave.
Horizon Walkers
When I discovered the holocrons within the library. Our ancient Jedi archives at the Temple whispered of forgotten paths and divergent methods of using the Force and integrating it with the Weave that aren’t generally acknowledged. While going through them, I came across a sect of Jedi called The Horizon Walkers. A small sect of Jedi who traversed the planes, and were guardians against extraplanar threats. Their skills, a blend of martial prowess and planar magic, resonated deep within me. As if the Force or something was calling me in that direction.
It wasn’t easy, approaching my Master, then the Council with my request to move to the Horizon Walker Order of Jedi. Master Jinora, my current Master, looked…disappointed initially at my request – he considered it to be some failing on his part. He thought that it was because he was too old to be training a Padawan – he wasn’t.
There was just something about the Horizon Walker sect that called out to me in a way that I didn’t understand, but I knew that becoming a Jedi Guardian wasn’t in my future, once I learned of the Horizon Walkers.
After considering my request and consulting further with other members on the local Jedi Council, there was again a bit of a twinkle in his ancient eyes. Ones that held more than simple understanding of a young Jedi Padawan attempting to find his own way in using the Force. It was as if he remembered back to when he was a Padawan and considered “different” from the others…and something else.
While Master Jinora is one of the few Jedi I would still trust, for I truly believe that he loved me as the son he never had, but even he had secrets that he kept from me.
‘The Force works in mysterious ways’, Master Jinora rasped to me on many occasions.
Shockingly, the Council voted to accept my request and started the process to begin my retraining as a Horizon Walker Jedi immediately. Looking back, I wonder how much more they knew about my past than they let on…it is something that didn’t quite fit with my past experiences. One where the Council often took months to come to a decision regarding the appropriate path of Younglings and Padawans. In some ways I believe they wanted to be rid of me, an anomaly in their carefully scripted plans at the Temple.
Perhaps someday I’ll find out the truth.
Though it was decided that while waiting Master Jinora would continue training me as his Padawan until a new Master could be found. For more than a few weeks we spent long hours discussing my future and surprisingly his own as well. Though I felt at the time and still feel that there were words he wanted to say, but for some reason held back.
I learned during those conversations that I was to be Master Jinora’s last Padawan and if I had been chosen by another Master earlier he would already have retired. He told me with a sad smile that after I found a Horizon Walker Master he was to retire to his home world, far away from the Temple – a place called Crannog. His age and old wounds had taken their toll on his meager abilities in the Force. He shared that he was tired of the charade that he had performed for so long to remain a Jedi and the politics that had come to the Order over the years. As he told me, it seemed that the Force had other plans for me and him. He also told me to be careful of who I trusted on the Council and would say no more on it, which I found odd then and more so now.
Master Alandor
After several months of searching for a Horizon Walker Master who was willing to take on a much older Padawan. Even when one expressed interest, when they found out more of my background from the Temple Council they would then refuse to take me. Then out of the blue, one called Master Alandor consented to become my Master, he had been away on a long-term assignment, when my request was made, but seemed to be interested in why I wanted to become a Horizon Walker and who I was.
The name of Master Alandor was a legend around the Temple though most of us didn’t know that he was anything other than a Jedi Knight until he selected me as his new Padawan, something he hadn’t done in over a 100 years. I learned later that he was the senior Jedi amongst the Jedi Horizon Walkers.
From rumors I heard around the Temple he was also a bit of a nonconformist when it came to using the Force. When we met for the first time, I found out he was also an Astral Elf and bluntly told me I was much too young to be a Padawan even though I was the same age as many non-Elven Padawans.
What the rumor mill did say was that he was a seasoned warrior with a blunt, gruff exterior and brooked no fools for long. Master Alandor was known for his meticulous planning, bravery, and unwavering determination. He wasn’t one for flowery speeches or empty praise, but that his respect was hard-earned and deeply valued by all within the Jedi Order. He usually got many of the more difficult assignments in the Astral Sea.
The parting with Master Jinora was difficult, but he was gracious and gifted me his Ring of Telekinesis, Bracers of Defense and an Amulet of Health that he had worn for so many years himself. He told me that I would need them more than he would in retirement, but that he couldn’t give me his Sunsword, that I would have to earn that through my actions, and one could not be gifted to me.
We both smiled sadly, and hugged. I thanked him for all that he had done for me and he wished me well. Then he started to say something more and the senior member of the Council who I thought had been shadowing me during our parting, stepped between us to shake my hand and wish me well. Then I bowed and said goodbye to Master Jinora and the Councilor, turned and walked away before my emotions could take control of me.
I’m sad that in all likelihood I’ll never see him again, though with the time I’ve had to replay that scene in my mind so many times, I will always wonder what Master Jinora had wanted to tell me, before that Councilor stepped between us. Though I saw him talking to Master Alandor privately before we departed and they both just looked at me with a sad look, before that same Councilor stopped to talk with them, so I didn’t attempt to go speak with them both.
Horizon Walker Training Begins
I was 18-19 when I began my training with Master Alandor as a Horizon Walker Padawan and found out that most older Horizon Walkers used a Sunsword instead of a Lightsaber. A strange coincidence, I think not after learning more of what they do. Though Master Alandor was visibly perplexed and had a far away look on his face and seemed lost in a memory for a moment, when I explained my strange memory about being defended by someone wielding a Sunsword, as the reason for my fascination with one. He asked me my age again and then quietly walked away.
Master Alandor questioned me extensively on my memories of life before I was found by the Jedi. But I didn’t have much in the way of memories to share with him, other than the quick one I had about the Sunsword and fleeting glimpses of people, though not enough to describe them. It was almost as if my mind had been wiped clean of who I was before I arrived at the Jedi Temple. I think he was as interested in who my parents were as I still am.
The training under Master Alandor was much different than with Master Jinora. It was a different way of looking at using the Force and yes, more of what I had come to know as spells. Master Alandor told me that if I could learn to effectively combine what I had learned from Master Jinora and what he was going to teach me that I had the potential to become a formidable Jedi in time as my connection to the Force should increase with time. Though the time to learn to merge the two methods of teaching into something I could use instinctively would be frustrating and that rushing the training would not work. It would come together when the Force and I were ready to forge this new use of the two schools.
It didn’t take Alandor long to see the Horizon Walker within me and I progressed quickly when it came to identifying portals and picking up on the spells that “Walkers” use. However, Alandor wasn’t one to rush into things either. He believed true commitment came through learning, preparation, action and was much more than just words or fantasies about doing things, while sitting in a chair in some office or boardroom.
Alandor’s way of testing my resolve to become a Horizon Walker wasn’t a grand display of powerful spells or a flashy lightsaber duel for me to show how advanced a fighter I was. It was based on skills that I would need to survive in a Universe that was harsh and unforgiving.
He trained me to fight a bit differently with the Lightsaber than Master Jinora had, I never used his Sunsword. It was more to find a killing stroke swiftly, then move on to the next opponent as efficiently as possible. Without the flashy flourishes, jumps or wasted motion that too many Jedi tend to add into their fighting style. Which even during my earliest training I didn’t understand. I saw their flashy efforts leave them exhausted at the end of a training session or battle and not ready to resume fighting at high levels if needed, without a period to rest.
In all the sparring sessions I had with Master Alandor, neither of us exhibited any levels of exhaustion after them. Tired, of course. However, we were always able to start fighting again immediately and often attempted to quickly defeat the other, by attacking at odd times immediately after a session had supposedly ended. It wasn’t until my third year that I wasn’t completely outclassed by Master Alandor and my fifth before I could occasionally best him. At the Temple, I had been able to fight evenly with many of the Jedi Masters so his fighting style was in my mind far superior. Wasted or unnecessary effort was an anathema to Master Alandor in battle and I heard him tell me time and again, to forget the flashy fighting that I had learned as a Youngling and just fight.
His testing of my progress were also a series of solo missions, sending me into the Astral Sea to gather intel on small Force disturbances and report back to him on what they were and to take care of them if I could. He believed that I wasn’t his typical Padawan and used the skills I already possessed to the maximum extent possible. One of his pet peeves was to waste nothing, time, energy, and he didn’t want to waste my skills either.
These missions were designed to test my resourcefulness, ability to navigate the unpredictable currents of the Astral Sea, and most importantly, my resolve. He needed to know if my interest in becoming a Horizon Walker stemmed from a genuine desire to protect others or was it just a yearning for adventure? Each successful mission and our time together chipped away at Alandor’s reservations, and my unwavering focus on the task at hand solidified both of our commitment to train me to become a Horizon Walker.
As Master Alandor stated Horizon Walkers needed to be able to work alone, since the number of trained members of the order were small. Stealth and smarts were as important as martial skills, sometimes more important.
We both realized early on that I was not going to be a Padawan for an extended period of time and he expected me to move on before I was thirty. As Elves we looked at years and time differently than our short-lived counterparts. So he wanted to make sure that I was ready for when that day did come.
Betrayal
Master Alandor was entrusted to an important mission into a particularly volatile city in the Astral Sea that had strategic importance to the Jedi. He was to investigate a growing planar disturbance in the Force there, which seemed to originate within the ruling family. Strangely the High Council told him to bring me along over his objections. He was told that I would assist him in this mission since I was close to moving beyond Padawan though we both expected it to take almost another eight or nine years. Though looking back, it is very unusual for the Council to overrule a Master’s choice to not bring a Padawan on a mission and I had been left behind several times before.
Once on the world, we found out that the ruling family knew we were coming and had prepared a warm welcome for us. A full platoon of elite soldiers were awaiting our arrival in the supposedly secret field where the planar portal was located. As we stepped through we were greeted with their weapons drawn and four spell casters with spells ready and told to surrender or die. They didn’t wait for our answer and began to attack before we could respond.
Master Alandor looked at me with sadness in his eyes, said “We’ve been betrayed!”, and told me to die with honor – “my Cousin”. Then he saluted me, and bounded off into battle instead of battling as a team as he had taught me. It was painfully obvious they were not there to capture us. We fought valiantly and acquitted ourselves well, but the casters and archers made the difference and suddenly my Master was inundated with a swirl of swords and then the soldiers finished their work – I believed I saw Master Alandor’s head fly from his body and knew my time was short as well. I had taken many wounds, then while falling to the ground, without thinking, I expended all my magic in one burst outward and heard nothing but screams. Suddenly everything went black.
Imprisonment
Some time later I awoke chained naked to a slimy dungeon wall. My wounds had been cleaned and bound and there was a helmed guard within the cell with me, who went to the door to let them know I was awake. About an hour later an Elven noble who stunk of cheap perfume slunk into the cell with four guards and an obvious Wizard. All who looked very aware they were dealing with a Jedi – even if I was just a Padawan.
I was questioned extensively and answered the questions posed to me as the Jedi had taught me to respond if captured. The noble looked at me and shook his head and told me here you will stay. However, first we must question you further using other methods to ensure that your answers were the whole truth, not Jedi half-lies.
A short time later the torture began and would continue. It seemed as though they took me to the gates of the dead and then brought me back – time after time. I longed for it to end though it never did. I lost track of who I was, where I was and how long I had been there. Eventually, no questions were asked when I was taken to the torture chamber, just pain given, the torturer’s smiles, my screams, and the silent guards within the room. I gave up all hope of rescue and as the years went by, time lost all its meaning to me.
Still there was no word from the Jedi, no attempts to rescue me that I heard of or was mocked by their failure to free me. All I had was a sense of being completely abandoned and the feeling of being completely alone. And the pain, that was the one constant, always the pain.
The Torture Stopped
One day, there was a change in the routine and instead of being taken for my daily meetup with the one who wasn’t allowed to let me die, I was simply released from my chains, thrown a rag to wear, and left lying on the filthy, wet floor. More and more weeks passed and I was being ignored which in some ways was almost as bad as the torture, but I was being fed gruel once a day, so they hadn’t forgotten about me. Though the continued screams from afar continued, it just wasn’t me screaming. I was fed enough to survive, but not enough to let me have any energy to exercise or get stronger.
It seemed that I had been left to rot and eventually die of natural causes.
Though during this time without torture my body and mind healed to the point where I was almost lucid once more. It was then I began to believe that the Jedi had abandoned me and had time to think back on my life and who my family was and with the few clues that I could dredge up I came to the conclusion that the Jedi knew more about my past and who my family were than they were willing to divulge to me – at least. Jedi playing Jedi games once more.
Even so, I continued to attempt Jedi mind-speak every day I was strong enough, until I would pass out from fatigue and was met with only silence. There wasn’t any barrier, just no answer. I continued to delve into my past and plot all sorts of methods of revenge that I would take upon my captors.
Though I couldn’t get out of my mind the last words to me from Master Alandor – “my cousin”. Was he my relative? Did I mishear him? An Elf calling another Elf cousin is not unheard of even if they are not related, but to use that familial term “my cousin” brought too many unanswered questions to mind.
The ArchFey
After what seemed like years of this this torture, heal a bit, then torture again and never seeming to stop. And now being mostly ignored – I felt completely alone. One day there was a voice in my mind and an offer from one who identified himself as an ArchFey one who called himself Lord Finvarra, whose interest I had somehow garnered. My efforts to reach out to the Jedi, had reached into his mind, something that he had never experienced before and needed to learn more about who it was that was able to do this to him. While I had slept he had gone through my memories, then done some investigating of his own.
He told me that the Jedi order knew that Master Alandor had been killed and knew that his Padawan had been captured. However, they had dealt with the Lord responsible for that insult, but agreed to not attempt to rescue the Padawan, once his son had assumed his place and was willing to make an alliance with the Jedi. But on the condition that the incident with their Knight was to be forgotten and the Padawan forgotten as well. It would be an embarrassment for both parties if I was to resurface – alive and in the condition I was in after so many years.
I couldn’t believe what was being said, but at the same time, I was still here imprisoned and Master Alandor was long dead. So, I tended to believe what I was being told. He then insinuated that my allegiance and oath to the Jedi Order no longer held me to them, as they had forsaken me. I sadly agreed with that observation, since I too believed that the Jedi had abandoned me.
His investigation had further piqued the ArchFey’s interest into who I was and he offered that he might intervene upon my behalf to work a deal that would be satisfactory to all parties and get me out of the dungeon that I was in. But only, if I was willing to accept him as my Patron and become one of his Warlocks and serve him in return. I thought for a moment and realized this might be my only chance to leave this cell alive.
Besides what had the Jedi done for me since I was captured – nothing, they had abandoned me to a fate worse than death. I decided to accept his offer, it was a chance to live.
Also, knowing the ways of the Fey, that this would be my only chance to bargain with the Fey Lord for anything. Therefore, I requested the items that Master Jinora had entrusted to me as parting gifts, the Ring, Bracers, and Amulet that I had on when I was captured and to find who my parents actually were. I figured that the Lightsaber I had carried had long since been stripped for its crystal and would be useless to me. Along with training in this new class that was being offered.
He stopped and seemed to be thinking, then I sensed him smiling, and then he replied he would see what he could do.
Lord Finvarra
About ten feedings later (that is how I had begun to tell time), there was clanging at the door and an imposing Elf walked into my cell with several guards with drawn swords behind him. He laid a blanket on the floor and unrolled it, inside were the Ring (it still had that small scratch on the inside that Jinora had shown me all that time ago), Bracers and the Amulet. Along with a set of clothing similar to what he was wearing with the same crest on the right side of the shirt. He looked at me and said “Due to the conditions of your release agreement, I cannot help you with finding who your parents are. That is a quest you will do on your own. Otherwise, I have fulfilled my part of the bargain. Will you fulfill yours”?
I struggled to get on one knee before him and nodded with tears streaming down my face whispering hoarsely “I will.”. He told me henceforth Run’arr would be known as Kane Lokris and I felt a probing inside my mind. The ArchFey looked at me and told me I was now under a geas to not talk to anyone but him about my time as a Jedi, or that I had been a Jedi. That I would not remember the city’s name nor the name of the family that imprisoned me, only that I had been imprisoned and tortured for over ten years in a dungeon – somewhere.
“Do you agree with these terms?”
Overwhelmed with emotion and now realizing the actual number of years I had been imprisoned. While I was overwhelmed with that knowledge, I nodded my assent and croaked out the word “Yes.”
There was and is more to life than living for revenge and with the ArchFey’s offer I had the opportunity to do more than simply survive a miserable existence that I felt had little time left before I would be dead in any case.
Freedom
The Fey Lord motioned for me to rise and change from the rags I was wearing to my new clothes and begin my new life with him as my Patron. I steeled myself to perform this simple task, as I felt my connection to the ArchFey deepen. I was barely able to dress myself or stand, but managed to put on the clothes, the ring, the bracers and when I put on the amulet, I felt more alive than I had in a long time, though still barely able to stand and walk.
I thought to myself, that no matter what it took, I was going to walk out of this hellhole on my own, with my head held high to show that I was unbroken. Once dressed, he motioned for me to follow him and he led me through the phalanx of guards, who nervously shifted around as we passed by them. They had surrounded us while he was talking to me and only reluctantly parted to let us by when the Fey Lord glared at them.
Even with the amulet on, in my weakened state it was only through extreme willpower that I was able to walk at all, staggering along every so often. No one made any move to assist me and I don’t believe I would have accepted their aid, if it had been offered. There were too many familiar faces amongst the guards, those who had dragged me to the torture chamber, too many times and stood there silently while I screamed.
On our way through the dungeon, I hesitated when we came to the room where I had been tortured so many times and looked at the man standing off to the side of the table – who smiled a sad smile, nodded to me and bowed. I am now sure he was placed there to create a reaction from me to give them reason to attack us. My new Master saw me falter for a moment when I saw the torturer and waited to see what I would do. I started to reach out with my ring’s telekinetic power and stopped, composed myself, nodded, and looked away.
I began to walk unsteadily towards the Fey Lord. I knew that I had a new life ahead of me, and if I attacked that man, I would never see the light of day. I lifted my head a bit higher, stood up straighter, took a deep breath and walked away without looking his way again. I could not help but emanate all the hatred for the person who had damaged my body and mind so much.
Suddenly my Master bared his teeth and made an almost inaudible growl, for he knew exactly what I wanted to do and without thinking took a step towards the torturer. My sudden surge of emotions had clearly affected the Fey as well. The torturer looked at us very afraid and took a step backwards.
My Master stopped, then looked at me with a quizzical look, quickly composed himself, turned, smiled wickedly at the guards who were following behind who had taken a step towards us when he did that.
Then continued to lead me and our armed procession through a labyrinthian set of corridors and rooms. I don’t remember the path we took or if anyone was watching us, other than there were soldiers all along our path. This went by in a blur, until we reached the outside where it was a dark night. A grand carriage awaited us in the torchlight. I didn’t have the strength to climb into the carriage and felt an invisible force carrying me inside the carriage.
As I looked back upon a palace I had never seen the outside of, though I had been within its dungeon for over ten years. I etched the outside appearance of this grand entryway into the very essence of my soul. I have a feeling that I will be back there someday despite being unable to remember the names of who imprisoned me or where I was imprisoned, my agreement said nothing about not remembering what I saw after making it.
We rode in silence and eventually, I could sense that we were heading towards a portal that I sensed quite a way off – I hadn’t lost my Horizon Walker powers, but I was so weak, so damaged. I was focused on remembering landmarks and what I could see of the palace in the darkness. When the carriage stopped, I was so lost in those efforts that I hadn’t noticed. My Master touched my arm and motioned for me to join him outside the carriage. I had rested enough that I was able to stumble/walk towards the portal. A large cavalry escort was still with us and more soldiers nervously lined the path to the portal with their swords drawn, looking as though they expected to use them.
Who Were They?
At the junction to the portal, a tall Astral Elf in plate armor with his sword drawn and flaming, standing beside a figure with a hooded cloak hiding his face, and what looked to be a lightsaber on his belt. They glared at us, then the Elf loudly and rudely remarked,
“Do you agree that the pact is now complete and our obligation to you is done?”
My Master simply looked at them in a bored fashion, stood there silently glaring at the impertinent Elf for about thirty seconds. When the Elf lowered his eyes and stopped challenging my Master, Lord Finvarra smiled a chilling smile (one that I would have been terrified of if I had been on the receiving end of it) and in a low and dangerous tone that brooked no argument “Your obligation to me is complete, now step aside.” Sweeping his arm and pointing, indicating they would go to his right while looking directly at the hooded one and ignoring the Elf.
I don’t know what Lord Finvarra used to bargain for my freedom, but my release certainly wasn’t something these two wanted to have happen. I could feel both of their hatred and conflicted thoughts about whether to attempt to kill me now and suffer the displeasure of this ArchFey as well as the soldiers’ fear of dying at my hand?
My hand?
Thoughts I couldn’t comprehend or understand then or now. I focused on the Elf’s face and committed it to memory, while I attempted to see the face inside the hood. Without a doubt it seemed to me to be a familiar one from before I started training with Master Alandor, one of the Council members. The one who stopped Master Jinora from talking to me. Of that I’m almost certain.
Though I didn’t understand their hatred towards me…I certainly was no danger to them, but Lord Finvarra held something over two very powerful men that allowed him to take me with him and for them to put on such a display of power at my release. Who was it for? I don’t think the ArchFey was too worried or impressed. Me, I was so weakened and such a pawn in this matter, that it made no sense. However, these two, no three, I could now see another behind the two – one who was invisible and had released her spell.
At that pronouncement the two men and the once invisible Elven woman behind them and they all reluctantly moved aside.
Lord Finvarra slowly and majestically walked up the steps to the portal as if it was to his coronation, turned and beckoned me forward, winked…smiled a warm smile at me, took my hand, then laughed loudly as we walked through the portal.
INTO THE FEYWILD
The Second part of Cain’s backstory and some fleeting thoughts on what has happened so far to him. This backstory is more involved than most I’ve written and the character has driven the changes as he developed in my mind. I find it fun to change the backstory to meet how the character develops in my own mind. Yeah, I had to break the story into shorter more manageable pieces on the blog, otherwise what was 15-16 pages of material at 9 pitch would have been too long to comfortably read in one sitting.
The Feywild
When I emerged on the other side I knew without being told that I was now in the Feywild and there was another carriage waiting for us. I finally fell to my knees unable to stand any longer. He motioned for one of the grooms to assist me into the carriage and after I was seated my Master looked at me and said.
“This is your new home Cain, I know that you’ve been badly damaged and it will take time for you to heal. You have voluntarily accepted my protection and since you are still quite young in Elven traditions, as a result I’ve taken on the responsibility of being your Guardian until you come of age, though with your experiences it will be a loose one. I will see you are taken care of until you can take care of yourself once more and serve me as I expect that you will. However, after seeing you and your actions today, I no longer need you to become a Warlock with me as your Patron.”
“No, I would prefer to have you not be bound to me and instead would have you voluntarily remain at my side. To eventually have you look at me as your benefactor and possibly more without the need of a Warlock’s compact. You will find that I am generous to those who serve me willingly and well.
I had thought to make you a Horizon Walker and War Mage in my service, though now that we are here at the crossroads and after today’s display. I deem it wiser for you to let go of your Horizon Walker heritage and walk the path of an Eldritch Knight and War Mage. I will twist reality and you will lose your Horizon Walker and strong telepathy abilities, while becoming an even stronger Wizard focusing War Mage skills. I believe in the long run it will be a trade you will come to value though your ability to contact me like you did will end.”
“Come to think of it, you remind me of an Eladrin Battle Mage that I knew in what seems like another lifetime. She left the Feywild to be with a young Astral Elf many centuries ago. While there is no way they could be your parents, which I’m strictly forbidden to help you find within the terms of your release agreement, her story might prove to be interesting and helpful to you becoming a Battle Mage. She left some items in my care that she prophesied would be needed in the future by a Battle Mage under my guardianship. They might be of use to a fledgling Battle Mage such as you. You can read about her in the library while you are healing from the trauma you have endured. The Sage will find the documents on her and after you read her story, talk with me after to see about those items in my care when you feel the time is right.”
I said “Thank you, Master, I will serve you loyally as one of your Battle Mages. May I have a name to call you?
He responded with “You may call me Lord or in private Finvarra.”
With that I had reached my limits and passed out.
Awakening
The next thing I knew I woke up in a real bed. Something that I hadn’t experienced for…yeah, over ten years. It was in a small room that was tastefully furnished. I felt renewed, like I hadn’t felt for far too long. The time in the dungeon had ravaged my mind and body, but laying there in that soft bed, I felt that my future had possibilities that I couldn’t begin to imagine. My physical maladies from the years of torture were mostly healed. Though I could tell there were still areas that needed more time. Even the extreme fatigue that had been a constant companion during my imprisonment was gone. Though I knew the deeper scars from my imprisonment – both physical and mental would take longer, much longer to heal.
On the desk beside the bed were new clothes and a note bidding me to break my fast with him and other members of the household this morning. It was signed by Finvarra. Looking out the small window I could see it was just past dawn.
At that point, I realized just how hungry I was. I quickly cleaned up, got dressed, put on my ring and wore the amulet under my new shirt which helped immensely towards me feeling more alive, then opened the door where a small Sprite was waiting, who motioned for me to follow.
I followed the Sprite towards a new and different life than I had ever known.
Meandering Thoughts
As I followed the Sprite, my thoughts were not about eating or enjoying the sight of my new home. That would come later.
Instead I questioned who the three were at the Portal and tended to believe they are a part of my heritage that has been hidden away from me. For some reason they are not allowed to kill me outright, but if I were dead, it would be something they would take word of with relief and celebrate the news gladly.
Through the ordeal of my imprisonment, I have learned that dying is easy, it is the living part that is often more difficult. On the day that Alandor died, I had been prepared to follow him into that valiant death. The one where he wanted me to die with honor and would have if Fate hadn’t intervened and I somehow survived to be captured against all odds.
Never again, will I attempt to throw my life away, to die with so-called honor. Instead I will battle until there is no hope left, then I will do what is necessary to survive. To live and hopefully fight again another day. Circumstances and the whims of Fate are fleeting and often lead to unexpected changes or outcomes that one must be alive to take advantage of..
While I will not die willingly for Lord Finvarra, I do plan to serve him loyally. He may kill me if I displease or fail him too many times and we both know that. However, I am no longer that naive Padawan and I know that serving him will have, let’s just call them – difficult moments.
As time goes on I will learn things about him and his operations that would be too valuable to let me be dismissed or to simply walk away. My service then will be more about how successful I am in the missions I am given and then how I work through those inevitable failures, that will make me a valuable tool for Lord Finvarra. Because that is what I will become – a tool to move circumstances in the direction he wants, while countering those who oppose his goals.
Also, the clue that Lord Finvarra gave me, while he might not actively help me find my parents, there is nothing to say he can’t point me towards others in my lineage before my parents as people to emulate. I will visit the library when I am able.
Though the mystery of my lineage seems to be deepening as events around me unfold. I am beginning to wonder if the purpose of the mission to that city in the Astral Sea was more about capturing a lowly Jedi Padawan than killing a Horizon Walker Master, who called him cousin and urged him to “die with honor as he did”?
Wheels within wheels that are enough to continue to make my head spin at times.
Perhaps I have had too many years to think about things and it is simply my imagination running wild. But I do believe the answers do lie in finding out who I really am, or probably more importantly – who my parents were. Finding those answers might even lead me back to that palace in whose bowels I survived for over ten years.
One last parting thought as I came to the room, to break fast with my new Master and many others who were there and would become people I would come to know and some to become my friends. Is something I still can’t quite comprehend. In all the time from when I was captured, imprisoned and tortured, not once was my face scarred or disfigured. It is something that doesn’t seem in keeping with the stories of others that have been captured, then tortured, that I heard during my Jedi training.
Just one of those things you wonder about at odd times.
It was time to step into my new life…I did.
A Call to Adventure
Ah, it’s been six months since I wrote that first journal entry and while I’ve maintained a journal since that day, much has happened. Today Lord Finvarra offered me the opportunity to join an adventuring party, on a world called Crannog, if I feel that I am ready.
Becoming Healthy
Physically, I’ve healed and while there are still some body parts that could use more time, I am doing well and getting antsy to do more than just train. Though I do find myself easily overwhelmed at times when there is too much going on around me or noises that take me back to the prison.
Then there are areas where my mind still seems to be blocked, beyond my Master’s geas, and the healers and wizards I’ve talked with can’t figure out how to get around it – yet. Another piece of the puzzle has been added.
Though I did learn that it took five healers, and a wizard several days to heal both my body and mind of most of the damage that had been done to me during my imprisonment before I woke up that first time in my bed. One of the healers told me Lord Finvarra came in on the last day and worked his miracles upon me, otherwise I would still be quite crippled. None of the healers or the wizard would have believed or could have imagined how badly I had been tortured during my imprisonment if they hadn’t seen with their own eyes what had been done to me.
They were all amazed that I had even survived, how I had walked out of the prison under my own power, and much less that I was still somewhat sane, they couldn’t fathom. Though I’ll agree to the “just somewhat sane part”, some days do feel like I’m coming apart at the seems. Those observations that they shared with others, only added to the rumor mill about me and the mystique about Kane have reached levels far beyond the truth, though the truth was bad enough.
In the end they dared not do more for the damage done was so grave and I was so deeply scarred that to attempt further magical healing at that point might release me to the other side and waste the time and effort that Lord Finvarra had put into releasing me – no one wanted that outcome. The rest of the healing would need to be done naturally, if I was to be made whole.
I’ve come far since that first day and feel much more comfortable being in the service of Master Finvarra. He is a demanding Master, but fair. Though I don’t think he enjoys being called Master too much and tells me to stop it every time I call him that. It is a habit that I’m working hard to break, but having been brought up in the Jedi world and being lost in my mind replaying so much of my life while imprisoned makes it difficult to call him anything else.
He is my Master and I am a Padawan when it comes to learning about the intricacies of Feywild Courts.
Though we are still exploring how I was able to contact him and how he reacted to my visceral emotional response to seeing the torturer when leaving the dungeon. It seems I had some sort of connection to him, but neither of us can explain what it is and it only worked when I am under a tremendous emotional strain. Though it has significantly decreased since he twisted my reality and I lost my Horizon Walker and Telepathy abilities – surprisingly, we both know it is still there.
It is a Fey Court
I’ve met his family, and others of his and Oona’s household. They have all treated me with dignity and respect, though the daughters are a bit flirtatious. Lord Finvarra warned me quite publicly that they were off-limits and so I maintain a respectful distance from their teasing and enticements. I treat them as would an older brother to his younger sisters, even though they are much older than I am. Plus, my newness is wearing off and they go about their days with new interests, much to my relief and I have a feeling, their father’s as well.
I don’t believe he brought me here to become a member of his family, even if he has become my Guardian. However, loosely it might be. I’m not sure what that means other than I am under his protection for now. I guess being raised primarily by humans has skewed my idea of how old one should be when they are on their own, compared to how Elves believe.
Though I have learned that he was only raised to ArchFey status at about the same time I was imprisoned if the information I’ve heard is correct.
His and Oona’s Fey Court is still a Noble Court with all the intrigues and behind the scenes power plays that go on in any Court. I’ve been “courted” and recruited by various factions within it and even from without his realm as he is now my Guardian. So far I’ve been able to remain aloof and neutral in these dealings, by playing up my recovery from a long imprisonment which I can’t talk about only adds an additional layer of intrigue about me.
Though who I am has piqued more than a few of the Fey within the Court and I have heard whispers that some are attempting to find out who this person is that is called Kane and where did he come from. Of course, they seek to use that knowledge to their advantage when dealing with me and possibly even Master Finvarra. I suppose I should stop calling him that publicly, because it is a sure give away of some of my Jedi background.
But then again, perhaps if I say nothing and keep just being me. It might let them do the investigating and one might have resources or that Fate will successfully turn their efforts to figure out who I actually am into something I can use. I think that is probably the best direction and I’ll let that part of the Fey Court work for me, if it can.
I think that I might be able to function in the Fey Court after all, but not get too immersed into it.
Accepting Who I Will Be
I’ve had full access to the Wizard’s and Fighter’s training areas and have learned so much in such a short time. However, about a month ago, Master Finvarra after sparring with me (he kicked my butt) suggested that it was time for me to stop moping about the palace and fully embrace becoming his Battle Mage. To let go of the bits and pieces of my Jedi past that were blocking me from my potential to become what he saw for me. Then he walked away speaking to another of the morning’s victims, for whom he had words of wisdom for as well.
I took a long walk around the grounds and spent several hours thinking about what my Master, no Guardian had said. He was right, I needed to let go of the past and move forward. Yes, it’s difficult, but it was what needed to be done. The next time we sparred, I fared a bit better and thanked him for his sage advice. He smiled and whacked me over the head with the flat of a training sword and told me to be more aware of what was going on around me. We both laughed, but he was smiling when he walked away.
Wizards
Even before that conversation his Wizards were quite willing to help me learn to be a War Mage. After “the talk”, my perspective towards the Wizards changed and I opened up to them more. Now learning new spells is going well and I have penned several that I will need going forward into my enduring spellbook. It is one of the perks of being around several other Wizards, if you would want to learn a spell, more than likely someone has it and is willing to share, if you return the courtesy when they would like to learn one of yours.
Being a Wizard has its advantages over being a Horizon Walker, but in the back of my mind I do miss the complete feeling that being one gave me. However, I agree with Master Finvarra’s prediction that becoming a Battle Mage is the correct direction for me to go. But to the surprise and at times consternation of some of the other Wizards I haven’t summoned a Familiar. I just don’t believe I’m ready quite yet, it will happen, but not just yet.
Though one of the most senior Battle Wizards coveted my Master Jinora’s Ring of Telekinesis and offered a Staff of Power in exchange – he had other more powerful ones, but the refinement of he could do with Jinora’s ring and his other skills would take him to a different level as a Battle Mage. I was loath to let anything of Master Jinora’s go, but at the same time I no longer needed to have magical items that duplicated Jedi skills. After Lord Finvarra’s little talk, I believed Jinora would understand, because I was no longer a Jedi and didn’t need to meet their standards. After thinking about it for almost a week, I agreed to the trade. Yes, it was a difficult decision.
Fighter
Even after trading for a wizard’s staff, I have to admit that I am still more comfortable working with the fighters and the training required there. I know that lifestyle better. Also, for the most part they are less pretentious than some Wizards are. Also Master Finvarra’s arms masters have helped me regain my strength and stamina through a lot of hard work, running up that damned hill about three miles from the palace, along with too many hours in the training circles.
We’ve decided that the best compliment to my becoming a War Mage would be using a dual weapon fighting style. With one of the weapons being my Shadow Blade spell in my main-hand when it is available and the Staff of Power in the other. For those times I can’t cast Shadow Blade, having an extra longsword or a shield for the extra defense they provide, while still being able to cast other spells through my Warcaster ability and staff will be necessary.
Also, I traded the Bracers of Defense for a set of Adamantine Plate Armor with an Arms Master I had gotten to know quite well. While I won’t sneak up on too many people, I’ll be able to cast spells and continue to cast spells closer to the front line of battle. Becoming a Battle Mage has required me to shift my priorities and also to sacrifice the items that my old Master gave me. Being brutally blunt, sentiment has little place when it comes to survival and I will survive.
No New Information
As far as finding out more about my lineage, other than learning that I have mind blocks purposely there to keep certain knowledge from me, and the name of the Battle Mage Master Finvarra told me about, along with a bit more about her early life. I’ve hit a black hole as far as new information about my lineage is concerned. The Sage in charge of the library thinks it odd that she has been unable to find out more about her after she left with the mysterious Astral Elf. I’ve piqued her interest in her legend and she is determined to find out more about who this mysterious Battle Mage became after leaving the Feywild.
Master Alandor’s past was shrouded in mystery almost as deep as my own and most of the stuff that the Sage and I have been able to find regarding his life are the legends that he scoffed at, while we were together. Though the Sage believes that there might be some trinkets of truth laden in those legends. She continues to investigate his life as well.
Adventure Awaits
It seems that one of Oona’s Warlocks is having quite a difficult time on Crannog, with a problem there called the Witching Hour. Master Finvarra asked if I might be interested in an “easy” first adventure for him and one that would help Oona a bit. Several of this Warlock’s party members have been killed recently and he needs someone who can survive the rigors and challenges this Witching Hour has.
It would also give Finvarra someone to keep an eye on one called Varrin, who didn’t defend his oldest daughter’s honor to his satisfaction when she was insulted by one of the other party members (one called Donkey who is no longer with the party) and Varrin had a bit too much of Oona’s scent on him when they arrived last night. Then Varrin had the audacity to insinuate that my Master was not good enough for him. Master Finvarra has requested that I observe this Varrin, and I will.
The adventurers are from Crannog and if my memory serves correctly that is where Master Jinora claimed he was retiring to. It is a big world with two planes, but I believe that rumors of a retired Jedi amongst them would be spread to those who listen to such things. While I’m in that world perhaps I can find and talk with Master Jinora to learn what he knows of my past. If he still lives. I will talk briefly with the Sage in the library to see if she can come up with any information. She has surprised me and others with what she can dig up on short notice
Though I appreciate Master Finvarra’s providing me with their magical journal that holds the tales of the adventures and troubles that Varrin and his crew have encountered since his adventures began not that long ago. I will read this journal to see what interesting tidbits of information I may find useful going forward. Since I have several hours before they are to awaken from their long rest, I think that I’ll start reading from the beginning. From what I have read so far, it indicates it should be an enlightening read. And yes, I am taking a few notes in my own journal of things that I want to remember that might help me assist the party more, since the only constant has been Varrin.
Before meeting with the adventurers tomorrow it is probably the time to see what that mysterious Battle Mage foresaw might be necessary to leave with Master Finvarra and if he believes there are things that I should take with me on this adventure. I have a feeling that my current mundane longsword will not be enough, even though I will be wielding the Staff of Power and using the Shadow Blade spell when I can, just from the little I have read so far in this journal.
Adventure awaits me of that I hold little doubt. Though “easy” would not be the word I might use to describe what I’ve read to this point. Though I have seen that there are several backstories of other adventurers who joined the party and have left either from death or other reasons. I will have to decide whether I want to include my own story within its covers? Time will figure it out, I’m sure.
Harold Being Harold 