What Scares Me About Running

At some point, having to stop running will happen. 

And, yes, it will suck.

But, it will happen and it does scare me.

Because I don’t want to stop running, it has been a major part of my life for over 50 years and it one of those thing that as much as it challenges me at times, I still enjoy doing.

The idea that I someday will have to stop running, is something that I attempt to minimize, ignore and all that other stuff, but when I am honest with myself and if I live long enough, I know that there will come a time that I can’t run.

For whatever the reason.

It means when it does that I am that much closer to crossing the bridge to what comes next.

That fear of my own mortality thing.

Why am I thinking this way

It isn’t that I’m being all negative towards thing, it is more that…

My recent knee surgery has really brought this reality home and while I will run again this time, what happens next time I get injured and need to go through the rehab process?

Am I going to be willing to deal with the pain, discomfort, and mental fortitude required to come back from yet another major injury. 

How many more times can I force myself to go through the rehab process and all that stuff that comes with it? 

Those are questions that I have been asking myself too much lately. 

When you add in that I am edging closer to that magical 70th birthday, which seems to be some kind of switch for too many other runners I’ve known throughout the years. A point in their running lives where their perspective towards running changed completely or they stopped wanting to deal with the pain and discomfort that seems to go along with being a runner. 

Yes, I know, I have a four more years to go before I reach that wonderful age, but this is something that has been on my mind more often over the past few months. Especially, since I am having a much more difficult rehab and return to running after my most recent left knee surgery, than I ever have had.

The Reality is That

Running has been good to me at times and cruel at others. It has often made a mockery of my efforts to improve and all too often frustrated me with multiple injuries. Yet, at the same time running has provided me with lifelong friendships and a passion for getting my ass out the door and to keep moving. Which in turn has helped me through many personal or professional struggles that I have encountered over the years.

Despite the many challenges, setbacks, and even a few successes, running has taught and continues to teach me many lessons about perseverance, resilience, and self-discipline. It has shown me that, even as I age, I can continue to push my limits and helps me redefine what is possible for my body and mind. 

So, I am determined to keep running and embracing the ups and downs that come with it for as long as possible, knowing that the physical and mental benefits far outweigh the crap that seems to come with it.

Running has been a part of my life for over 50 years and it is something that I truly want to continue doing, at least until there is no recourse but to stop or I have crossed over the bridge to whatever comes next.

Each year, I understand the runner in this video better and the feelings that he is going through.

No matter what, I will always be a runnah and if I end up in a nursing home someday, I can see me finding an old pair of Vaporflies and stealing out that door too, to go for that last adventure on my terms.

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