I decided to break this into a separate post since it had zero to do with working out, running or anything other than what it is. A social skills issue that arose during my first D&D session in far too many years. Something that caused me to think about what was happening and how I need to resolve it in my own mind if I am to continue to play with that group.
At last night’s D&D session we had a situation where I stopped enjoying the game and while I completely understand the what/why and limitations surrounding what happened, it isn’t the direction I prefer to go to enjoy a TTRPG with other people.
In fact, it bothered me way too much to ignore.
I have been thinking too much about it over the course of the day and how I could resolve it in my own way at next Wednesday’s session. I have replayed multiple scenarios in which I address the issue in my head. Unfortunately, none of them will be well received by the individual concerned and possibly not by all of the others at the table as well, although I believe that some might welcome my efforts. I am a new player and it would seem as though I was coming in and dictating how I want the table to behave or think things should be. Which isn’t what want or am attempting to accomplish.
I simply want to enjoy an adventure with the players at the table and couldn’t last night.
When I stop and think about this situation, it isn’t my problem and I could live with multiple solutions. Especially, the one where we help teach the player better social skills and how to become a member of a team (my old Special Education teacher experience coming out).
However, there needs to be some guidelines and expectations set down for how this particular player participates in the group, otherwise he will make it difficult for the group to enjoy the adventure the DM has started for us. Since his behaviors did cut into my and from what I could see other players enjoyment of what we are doing too much. It comes down to a very needy junior high student attempting to participate in an adventure with a group of adults not being a great fit.
What I will do is get there early and talk with the DM and see how he sees the situation. Basically, putting it in his lap, since he does control the table. If there isn’t a resolution in the offing that I feel comfortable with, instead of creating a scene or making others uncomfortable or enduring what I consider unsatisfactory playing conditions, I will re-join the campaign that I originally was a part of and see how that goes. It will be an easy solution and one where no one but the DM is the wiser.
I really would prefer to stay with this group because we had a lot of fun before and after the other player joined the group late, then left early. The DM is a good storyteller, who puts the story and good play before game mechanics. However, circumstances might be such that I will chose to move on.
This is what I find special about blogging. When I write this kind of stuff down, it forces me to think clearly about what is going on and that there are often multiple solutions to issues. Ones that make more sense than that first knee-jerk one that I tend to do and then get in trouble over.
In this case I don’t have to have all the answers or be the hard-ass who gets to make uncomfortable decisions or confront someone with some information they really don’t want to hear. I know how to do it, have done it, but if I don’t have to, why do so?
I think this interpersonal relationship stuff, is something that a lot of us have to practice doing again after almost three years of isolationism. I know that I am very much out of practice and am no angel when it comes to dealing with people at times. I will get better and so will others, but this time I simply want to play a game, enjoy the people who are sharing the adventure with me, and have some fun.
In other words I’ve had a good day. A pretty decent workout and figured out a good course of action for next week’s D&D session. Yeah, a pretty good day.