I got to run again today.

Although right now, my mind is not on serious running – at all. I am still processing everything that has happened this week. At the same time, I know where I stand in this mess. What concerns me is the timing of what comes next and if more violence will occur.

I believe that I am not alone.

Even so, I did go out for my run today. No, I didn’t do my warm-up routine and only planned to run laps up on top. I wanted to do 40.0 miles so that I would have 25.0-miles for the week. It was not quite the 30 miles I had planned, but it is better than I believed I would get with everything going on.

The first lap was getting my head wrapped around the idea that I needed to focus on running. Thankfully, for January, the weather was not too shabby, 26*F and a pretty good breeze out of the North, with lots of sunshine. The roads were mostly clear and I wore my Meraki running shoes.

While I got going a little better on the second lap, I still wasn’t at all focused on running. I kept replaying too many thoughts and images in my head that I have seen online and in the news. At times, it was a struggle to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I managed to keep going, though.

Lap 3 was more of the same and added pressure from the body, letting me know that a pit stop was imminent. Probably sooner than later. That little bit of normalcy seemed to bring me back to running, and I seemed to focus a little easier on it.

On lap 4, I passed some neighbors again, and they looked at me oddly when I brought my mask up over my face before I got by them. Then again, when I turned earlier than usual to avoid getting too close on my last lap. I am trying to do the right things, even outside. When I got back to the speed limit sign, I thought for about two seconds of picking up my speed for the last quarter.

Between the needing a pit stop and the general malaise that I felt.

I didn’t.

As soon as I sped up, I lost interest in running fast and went back to plodding along to get the run over.

I finished.

When I looked at the time, I was quite surprised. It had felt like a complete slogfest, and yet I had finished with a sub 9:00 minute pace (not by much). I had forced myself to keep going, despite my legs feeling like lead weights.

I was thinking too much.

The attack on the Capitol did, does, and will continue to bother me. My political beliefs are not extreme in either direction. Still, I love my Country, deeply. Many years ago, I made a solemn oath to “support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic and I still believe in that oath.

We are a Nation of laws and I believe in the Constitution. Not mob rule. We are not subject to one man’s whims, lies or need to remain in power.

We are better and more than that.

There must be swift and appropriate accountability for the actions of those who carefully use their words to incite others to commit crimes and for criminals who commit crimes in their name. If we do not hold them accountable, they or others will do it again.

As a Nation, we are better than what we have shown the World or one another over the last two months, especially this last week. We will come together again, but it will take time and effort.