This morning while walking with Bennie and now that I am sitting here eating breakfast reading my email (mostly junk), looking at the news (mostly bad) and getting ready to start what will turn into another busy day – I gotta admit that at times I and probably more than a few other people, do think that I have an odd way of looking, seeing or even doing things…
Especially this gotta do a marathon thing.
No, I am not having second thoughts about whether to chase this goal/dream or not. It is something I gotta do, but to start marathon training next week, when I am still having troubles running more than a mile, seems…well odd and I am sure that many runners and especially non-runners would wonder if I am being sensible or simply out of my mind.
After all I am over 60 and according to so many stereotypes and societal expectations doesn’t that mean it is time to start slowing down. To start fading away, let others take up the torch and be the ones out in the arena performing in the events, while I sit or stand on the sidelines watching and quietly applauding other’s efforts.
I guess this is where I am an odd duck to many, I don’t want to be on the sidelines watching.
I want and need to be out there still pushing the boundaries of what I can do. Oh, I know all too well the boundaries are there, but the are not as fixed as others or even myself at times might think. I just have to keep pushing against them and not give in to the stereotypical expectations that too many have for an old fart.
Although I know that I will never be more than a never-was runner and middle of the pack is right where I am – you know something that is enough for me. Although I might try to cop a couple age group awards every now and then at much shorter distances than the marathon.
Like most people my age, I have my own demons and ghosts that I battle most days. Finishing this marathon will put to rest a couple of the minor ones that have been haunting me for so many years.
Those are the reasons why I am going to start my marathon training next Monday, even though or despite my hamstring not being quite up to the task of running without restrictions. If I start my training regimen conservatively and not do (too many) stoopid things, I have a pretty good chance of things working out just fine.
Now to get the marbles and rocks in the old noggin lined up, the body as good it will get and about four months from now, be standing on the starting line of the Maine Marathon, thinking about what it is going to feel like when I cross that damn finish line.
I guess what the doc said to me at my last physical is a pretty good summary of how I want to do things going forward. “Harold, you are not going to stop doing things your way are you? You are going to push and abuse your body and then slide into that coffin with your body all used up.” I responded. “Yep”, smile a big arse grin and walked out with a spring in my step.
From where I sit my idea of fun and their idea of abuse are pretty different.
Yeah, I am a bit odd and you know something — I am good with that.
What are your expectations as you get old, are they the same as others have for you or are you like me – a bit odd?