Social Media Doesn’t Mean Rats-Ass

Kolya MillerBy Kolya

It is amazing how quickly your perspective changes after a family emergency.  Last night at this time I was all concerned about how I was going to justify changing back to my old blog “One Foot In Reality” as my primary blog.  I had stayed up until 11:30 drafting Owning My Mistakes and Moving On, before giving up and going to bed.

A short time later, I was woken up and told that my sister had called and that I needed to call her back as soon as possible.  I knew something was wrong and when I called I found out that my father had had a serious heart attack and was in critical condition at the ICU at Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor.

At this point I it is amazing how quickly your perspective of life changes.  My life went from worrying about mundane bullshit, to worrying about whether my father would live through the night. While dad is stable thankfully and will be undergoing a procedure tomorrow to find out more about what happened and what can be done. This incident really made me stop and think about what is important in my life.

The reality is in the overall scheme of things, blogging and all the other social media programs that I use don’t mean rats-ass.

They are simply tools that we use to communicate with other people, many of whom we will never meet or know beyond our connection on the Internet. Look at the amount of time and effort that we expend to create an online persona and to develop the ability to effectively use of these tools, how much of it is wasted time?

Could this time we spend cultivating our online networks be better spent, developing relationships with our real world families, friends, co-workers and neighbors?  Should this be our focus, instead of the artificial world we are creating online?

This is one of the things that I am going to think long and hard about over the next few weeks and it is something that more of us might want to look at. Are our priorities skewed, because many of us have found it is easier to communicate with relative strangers online, than it is sometimes is to talk with family or friends face-to-face?  If it is then it is a sad commentary on our culture and the direction we are heading.

How have my concerns about what Blog host I am going to use for my primary blog changed since last night?  Pretty simple I don’t really care what others think about it right now. It is time to settle down to a blog and stay there – “One Foot In Reality” has been my most successful blog and was my home online for over a year. I am going back and going to stay there – I am home.

This family emergency was a real wake-up call for me and I am going to look closely at my online presence to determine if there are things that I want or need to change and if I will re-focus more of my attention to real-world relationships.  I have a feeling that is the direction that many of us need to look at doing.

2 thoughts on “Social Media Doesn’t Mean Rats-Ass

  1. I couldn't agree more. I'm sorry for your news about your father, but also glad for you – because these 'wake up' calls can be precious; what we perceive as something dark can, in fact, be something wonderful.I wanted to share, if it's not too selfish, with what's going on for you, that I too have been feeling the same things. I've not had a trauma or shock as you have, but I've been seriously thinking about the time I invest in my online life. I have over 200 friends on facebook, yet it's my 40th next year and I would only know about 6 of them to invite 😀 It seems madness doesn't it? Yes, there have been some wonderful connections online and here I am, connecting with you for a moment; but it's all transient. I was trying to remember what my life was like before the internet and I was at the pub with friends, inviting people over, going to college to learn new skills, going to hobbies and interest clubs – I was OUT THERE, with PEOPLE, forging relationships and I kid myself I'm doing the same on here…We're physical people so we need physical relationships; hugs, smiles, body language, smell – being behind a plastic computer screen is a poor second yet I have invested So much time into it.It's time for some serious soul searching and I wish you well on your journey too. Your Father too 🙂


  2. Thank you for taking the time to comment. The online world is a jealous mistress and keeps finding ways to bring you back, it is instant gratification personified and you control everything about the relationships you have online -from when you choose to have them to what happens when someone disagrees with you. Also you can be whomever you want to be, instead of who you are. It is very different from life in the real world. There is an addiction aspect to being online that is being downplayed, that needs to be looked at more.I agree we need to start getting out of computer screens and focus on the relationships around us. Online is a tool we can use to connect more with other who we have common interests, but it shouldn't dominate our lives like it has for many who use it today.


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